Encouragement vs Correction

I recently attended a great LIFE business seminar in Moncton, NB on October 13th.  Terry & Ann Franks were the guest speakers and did a fabulous job.  I loved the topic they chose in the first session: ENCOURAGEMENT.  I don’t know about you but for me it seems I naturally forget to encourage & praise effort when dealing with people.  Instead I tend to automatically lean towards CORRECTION.

After the seminar many people felt the same way, we need to encourage more.  Can you remember the last time your boss corrected you on a mistake you made at your job?  Or the last time your friend corrected you on something you were doing wrong?  The list goes on & on with these human “auto-correct” examples.  Why is that?  Some say it’s our educational system.  That would make sense.  I rarely remember being encouraged for something I simply did right at school.  But as soon as I did something wrong five different people would make sure they would let me know.

It is said dogs learn a lot more from being encouraged over being corrected.  When a dog does something right we give him a doggy treat and the dog’s behavior improves.  Often times we see dog owners try to slap the dog and raise their voices to make a correction.  It’s hard to believe the negative motivation (correction) doesn’t work as well as positive motivation (encouragement) for dogs.  Our built in “human auto-correct” system is so much of a habit to us that we feel it’s the only way to help the dog.  And let me make something clear, my point  is not that correction doesn’t have value in today’s world.  What I am saying is that we need to do less of it and more encouraging.

Ann Franks said that for every 1 negative comment we need 4 positives to counter balance.  Or how Claude Hamilton puts it, when dealing with people it should be 90% encouragement & 10% correction.  That is probably very accurate.  I know personally when I receive positive encouraging words it feels sooo good.  On the other side when I am corrected for doing something wrong I feel  awful and discouraged.  Many of my friends feel the same way.  Author & friend of mine Chris Brady puts it another way.  He says we need to become “good finders” with people.  Which means we need to sincerely compliment people and find their strengths instead of pointing out their weaknesses.  There is a great quote “Hurting people hurt people”  that explains how some people point out other’s weaknesses and belittle them to cure their own self-esteem or confidence problems.  I believe that to be true.  Everyone wants to give their opinions on whatever & whoever it is.  Realize this, opinions are free and are often on the negative side which again, kinda fits into correction.  Nowadays it’s human nature to want to correct and offer our opinions on things.   Instead we need to change our focus to encouragement.  Here is a test for us, next time we want to give our opinion on something, let’s ask ourselves if it’s a negative or a positive one.  If it’s negative, than bite your tongue and keep it to yourself.  If it’s a positive one, let’r go & encourage!!!

With that, I’m off to Columbus, Ohio to see Orrin Woodward and the rest of the TEAM at Fall Leadership Convention.

It was great sharing & happy Halloween,

Joce Dionne

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67 Comments

Filed under FAMILY, FOLLOWING, FRIENDS, FUN

67 responses to “Encouragement vs Correction

  1. Mary Doucette

    Thanks Joce. I’ve started reading yours and Claude’s daily digest.Yours are always so clear and to the point. I heard a quote along time ago, “you attract more bees with honey than with vinegar” or something like that. I have always believed that you’ll get more from people by uplifting them than by tearing them down. I hope you realize that I have never felt anything but encouragement from you. Even your corrections are positive. It is always if you do this than you will get this and I know you can do it. Looking forward to your next installment.

    • Troy Gallant

      Hey Joce, I was at the Frank’s seminar too. And I agree their talk on encouragement was absolutely awesome. When Ann talk about how many positive words are needed to counter balance a negative one. It hit me, I remember hearing this before. But sometimes it’s better to be reminded than to be taught. I askied myself, how often do I violate that principle with my own kids? I made a decision to inspect my words before I speak them. I ask myself, “Will these words be a deposit or a withdrawal”? I call it (the Team filter). I’m like that dog you talk about buddy, I loved to be encouraged and giving treats too. Joce I thank you for being a great encourager and leading with your heart. Another reason why I consider you my best friend.

      Peace man
      Troy

    • Thanks for the kind words of “ENCOURAGEMENT” Super Mary! 🙂 J

    • Patsy Cormier

      well said Mary…

  2. Trent Crane

    Hey Joce,

    Yes for sure, that was an awesome seminar in Moncton with the Franks! Terry and Ann have a great way to captivate the crowd with their passion, enthusiasm and humour.

    The point and analogy you make about dogs learning a lot more from being encouraged over being corrected is so true but also a little sad. Makes a person wonder how as a society we have veered off course so far.

    It’s heart warming to be a part of LIFE and Team where there’s commitment to making a change and getting us “back on course”.

    Take Care

    Trent

  3. Mark Green

    Hey Joce,
    I agree with Troy and Trent, this seminar in Moncton was amazing!! I also totally agree with how people should be a lot quicker to tell another person that they did a great job, had a great idea or even how they touched someones life; and not so quick to criticize someone for making a mistake.

    I just think how we raise our children, as they grow and learn skills we are always making a big deal and saying “Great Job” or when they try to do something, “You can do it”.
    Then you get a little smile back. But as we age it is less and less until you get none at all.

    I want to thank you for making a post about this; people need to hear great information like this so we can start changing lives for the better. I am always looking forward to your post because i know they are from the heart. I am truly blessed to have such a great opportunity in being a part of Team and Life; and having the chance to learn from some of the greatest leaders and friends a person could ask for.

    Thank you for everything you Do.
    Mark

  4. Ashley Tucker

    Awesome post Joce! It’s great to have that reminder again to encourage instead of correct. It is difficult to remember sometimes, especially when working with young children, because as their teachers we are supposed to “teach” them; unfortunately, “teaching” is more often seen as correction of misbehavior instead of encouragement of the things they do right. Thankfully, I was taught by leaders like you, Claude and the Franks’ that there’s a different (and better) way of doing things!

    Happy Halloween to you, Cynthia and Kaleb!

    Ashley

  5. Awesome post Joce! It’s great to have that reminder again to encourage instead of correct. It is difficult to remember sometimes, especially when working with young children, because as their teachers we are supposed to “teach” them; unfortunately, “teaching” is more often seen as correction of misbehavior instead of encouragement of the things they do right. Thankfully, I was taught by leaders like you, Claude and the Franks’ that there’s a different (and better) way of doing things!

    Happy Halloween to you, Cynthia and Kaleb!

    Ashley

  6. Calvin Crane

    Good stuff Joce!

    The seminar was awesome with all of Terry’s witty one liners and all the nuggets and inspiration they bring to the stage – one of the most encouraging things I find is the example of leadership displayed throughout the association I get to have with great leaders like yourself, Claude Hamilton, and many many others. Like Claude says “the spines of the weak stiffen in the presence of the bold.”

    It’s been a great journey, and I look forward to many future posts to come!

    Lead on!

    Calvin

  7. Paul & Lisa Elliott

    Congrads on the big PP win Joce, Proud to be on your team!

  8. Marc Mercier

    Awesome article Joce!

    You and Cynthia are a true source of inspiration for for all of us. Keep leading from the front, you make us better. Thank you!

  9. Yvon Doiron

    Awesome Post Joce!!!!

    • Patsy Cormier

      Hey Yvon…really enjoy spending time with you at the major in Columbus!…Congratulation to you and Brenda for going Power Player!!!

  10. Kim Campbell

    Don’t know how but every seminar is better than the one before. We really enjoyed the October seminar are looking forward to the November seminar.

  11. I totaly agree Joce…Being positve and giving encouragemet is SOP for the TEAM but kind of counter to our coulture..

  12. Michel Côté

    Great Post Joce.

    I could not agree with you more. This made me think of the many areas the seminar topic delivered by the Franks’ could apply. Its interesting I’m ready this blog tonight but after a great evening with the kids on Halloween, filling them up with sugar all day, it was very difficult to do the 90% encouragement and only 10% correction. Trying to get them to get ready for bed was probably 150% correction. However, after the sugar rush, it was ready for bed time and they became a whole lot calmer when we began asking them about their day at school and daycare. The interest in their daily activities counted as encouragement for them and they went directly to bed without any issues (I’m sure the sugar crash helped also).

    Thank you for guiding and encouraging us in our personal and business development. We appreciate your leadership.

    Elise and I were both in Columbus and it was life changing. Can’t wait for the next seminar and convention.

    Michel and Elise Côté

  13. Les Page

    love your blogs joce , you really know how to get the point accross and yes when people lift us up with encouraging words it really helps to have a good day.. Keep up the good work

  14. Pascal Hébert & Suzanne Lagacé

    Hey Joce!
    As always, you are teaching us all so many good principles that can be applied in all areas of our lives. What amazes me is to see how much you do apply these yourself. Preaching by example is always the most impactful way to do, and you and Cynthia do it so well. We feel so blessed to be working with you guys and can’t wait to have the chance to spend some time with you.
    See you soon!

    Pascal and Suzanne

  15. Danny Campbell

    Great post Joce. When you were talking about getting encouragement from your boss that really hit home. Since I got involved in the business it is unbelievable how much negativity I see around work. Being encouraged and told that you have done a great job feels great. Life has given me that positive outlook and attitude to try and implement it into my life and work life.

    • true…seems like the LIFE business opens our eyes to reality on certain things. You & Kim did great bud, congrats on PP!!

      • Danny Campbell

        Team approach is what really makes this business truly unique. If it were not for our tremendous upline and you and Cynthia I don’t know how it would have gotten done. A huge Thank You.

  16. Tessa Mercier

    That is awesome info thank you for the reminder.

  17. Patsy Cormier

    Love your blog Joce!
    I feel blessed to have this great opportunity to be part of LIFE/Team.
    We learn, we grow and at the same time we have a lot of fun! What more could we ask for…Thanks for everything Joce and Cynthia 🙂

  18. John & Pat Ford

    Great article Joce!
    Both you and Cynthia continue to amaze us with your leadership, knowledge and dedication. We are truly lucky and thank full that we have entered this life changing journey and experience with you and all the others we share this with.

  19. jeffrey lawrence

    Hey Joce,

    Awesome post!

    I was asked from a buddy at church who knew I was in to leadership; how to help a friend move forward, and help him grow in his character. I remember my buddy, (mellancholie) telling me how he kept correcting his friend (sanguin), and trying to use military tactics to “break him down and build him back up!” lol and was totally shocked that this didn’t approach didn’t work.

    After telling my buddy I was proud of him for having the courage to confront a tough issue, I continued to let him know what he was doing right. I asked him a few questions, which led to him changing his thinking on the situation, gave him a quick tip for sanguins 😉 then recomended “bringing out the best in people” . The best part for me was seeing my buddy’s face when he realized that he had come so far because people had encouraged him!

    What a difference!

    Thanks again

  20. Wow guys. We are working with the best guys that want to help us all win. How awesome is that. Kaizen.

  21. JL Pellerin

    Hey big Joce! Love your blog! I think that encouraging someone vs. correcting them works so much better because of the grace you offer to someone when you encourage them. Most people know when they’ve messed up, and being reminded of it by correction first leave a sting that slows the growth process while encouragement give people just enough grace for them to pick themselves up faster to move on to bigger and better things. I’d rather have some wind in my sails on the open seas than a tugboat trying to pull me around the harbour any day! Thanks for keeping the wind in my sails pal! You’re the best!

    Rock N Roll
    JL

  22. Lisa Robichaud

    Hey Joce and JL !! Love the positive energy you both give. Grateful you are in my upline. Lisa Robichaud

  23. Lisa Robichaud

    I even can correct myself and realize that is my first comment on a blog so I don’t have to sign my name at the end. lol 🙂

  24. Marc-André Therrien

    This is certainly an eye opener for me! 90% encouragement & 10% correction

  25. Raylene MacNamara

    Great article Joce…this is a great reminder for melon choley’s!!!

  26. Thanks Joce. I think this is what’s been missing in our house. I’ve been struggling with helping my kids with homework and problem areas in their studies. Being a choleric task oriented person, I tend to just “get to the point”, but reading your article made me realize that mabe I’m too much to the point :). I will try encouraging more. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  27. Joseph Keller

    Well said Joce great blog. Yes all to often we are so quick to correct all we have to do is look at our own lives. In such a short time with a group of uplifting positive people ( The Team) and their 90% encouragement and 10% correction through PDCA lives are being changed for the better.
    Now its time to pay it forward uplift and encourage everyone that we meet for a small group can change the future one person at a time!

  28. Hey Joce

    Great blog post! It has been said that its sometimes more important to be reminded than to be taught and I think this is one of those times. So often do I catch myself correcting people expecting better the next time where as if only I would encourage them they would probably give a better effort and both parties would be happier with the end result.

    Great stuff, can’t wait for your next one…slap me again! lol

    Denis

  29. Stephan & Sandy

    Hey Joce ,,being a parent to a teenager ,i tell you ,you get a lot more mileage from an encouragement than a correction . Like Denis says ,to be reminded is soooooooooooo important ,,cause a lot of this we know but don’t apply .. Thanks for constantly reframing my vision, again and again .
    Stephan

  30. Jacqueline Dallaire

    I used to work at a positive reinforcement dog training facility.. it is amazing to see how much good can come from training a dog with this approach. I have taught my dogs incredible tricks that I never could have done through correction or force. They are motivated in a totally different way than a dog just trying to avoid correction. “Whale Done” is a great book that Im sure you have read that illustrates the same concepts… there’s only one way to train a killer whale, and it ain’t with punishment! Thanks Joce for the reminder that the same lessons also apply to dealing with my fellow humans 😉 Cant wait for your next article..

  31. Thanks Joce for expanding on this topic in Madison. You and Cynthia added so much value to the Wisconsin teams and we were blessed to have you speak. Keep leading the way, proud to be part of the Team family with you guys!

  32. Joce, this is a fantastic article, I appreicate you taking the time to write this and do such an amazing job. Your an amazing leader and I am excited to watch you gain the ultimate goal in 2013.

  33. leslie

    les and lyne, really love reading your blogs it makes me think and helps me get on with my day , thanks for all the wisdom that you share

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